Review: Blush Noje G Slim

What the fuck, is that its starting intensity?? -Me, turning the Noje G Slim on for the first time. It’s deceptively small, unassuming, a pale sage green. When you hold down its tiny + button, however, it roars to life at a truly impressive volume. This is not ‘whisper quiet’. This little egg on a stick means BUSINESS and it …

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Review: Vibease

Oh god, it’s so pink. This does not capture how bright it is. I rate bright pink on the list of sex toy colors just slightly above ‘depressing eggplant purple’, which in my opinion is the worst, and below pale rosy pink because at least that flavor of IT’S FOR WIMMEN doesn’t injure my eyes. The Vibease is #FF00FF magenta. …

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Review: Uberrime Spiro

Spiro and Amo stealing a smooch! After I reviewed the Amo, Marco of Uberrime offered me a choice of reviewing the Spiro or Vivo, the two other dildos in the series (‘laugh’ and ‘live’, respectively, where the Amo obviously represents ‘love’). After I finished falling off my desk chair in shock (me?? are you sure??), I asked for and received …

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Review: Touch by Swan Solo

I felt like a real life sex blogger when I saw the email from Betty’s Toy Box saying they were sending me the Solo. I couldn’t tell if I wanted to love it or hate it, so I compromised by spending a few days obsessively checking the mail and hovering in a perpetual state of anxious anticipation. When the package …

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Review: Uberrime Amo

I’m spoiled. This dildo has spoiled me. It’s blown almost everything else out of the water. The Uberrime Amo is what I always finish with these days. I can’t sing its praises anywhere near enough. I won the Amo in a giveaway, and I spent a while just admiring it when I opened it (yes, I know I always say …

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Review: Alraune (EX)

My Alraune, standing proudly. I bought the HodgePodgeEntourage Alraune on a whim. I saw it showcased on the creator’s Twitter and immediately had to know how it felt. It’s one of the better decisions I’ve made.

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Finding My Place

I see stories all around me of sex bloggers who got their start with an electric toothbrush, the water in the bathtub faucet, a Sharpie over their underwear, when they were teenagers, and I feel like a sore thumb, sticking out from sheer inexperience and naivete. I didn’t even have a sex drive until I was nineteen. As a teen, …

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Review: Tantus Goddess

The Tantus Goddess was my third-ever dildo. After my disappointing experience with the Fun Factory Amor, I bought the Cush O2 on sale, only to discover that my eyes were MUCH bigger than my vagina. Even the squishy dual-density silicone led to pain at attempted insertion (though I have inserted it ONCE, and it felt great). Frustrated with myself, I …

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Review: Womanizer Liberty

Air flow stimulators are old news to most reviewers now, but I’ve never managed to get my hands on one. They’re¬†pricey. I got my hands on the Womanizer Liberty during a sale, and I’m pretty excited about it!

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Review: Fun Factory Amor

My first ever review, featuring¬†my first dildo! It felt appropriate. The Fun Factory Amor is black, stubby, and comes with a suction cup, in case you’ve ever wanted to use a dildo as a coat hook on your wall (I have absolutely done this). It bends and squishes when you squeeze it. It’s a beautiful, attractive black (it also comes …

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