Review: Doxy Ribbed Aluminum Butt Plug

The Doxy aluminum (or, as the British company says, a-lu-mi-ni-um) butt plugs are fancy. In two styles– smooth and ribbed– of solid, weighty metal, plus a cylindrical case that fits the plug perfectly (aka cat fur protectant), this one’s a treat to unpackage and hold in your hands. It’s a complete bitch to take photos of, due to the beautiful …

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Review: Zalo x Upko Silicone Rose Ball Gag (Designer Doll Collection)

I’ve been lusting after the Rose Ball Gag since I first saw it. Somehow, it’s never occurred to me that ball gags can be pretty. I generally appreciate how they make folks look, but that’s because people are hot, not because the gags are especially aesthetically pleasing. Now Zalo’s taken the concept and created something elegant and gorgeous, something you …

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Review: Uberrime Sensi

My sexual awakening was gay erotic X-Men fanfiction. The Sensi, freshly washed. …I promise this is relevant to the review, okay? A pretty common theme in the depths of AO3 where I found myself was the idea of plugging a bottom to keep them “open” for their top, who was generally also their dom. In the magical realm of fanfiction, …

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Review: Vibease Jewel Collection (Emerald and Ruby)

Last February, Vibease reached out to me to ask if I wanted to review their “Jewel Collection,” a trio of non-app-controlled vibrators they’d just released. I asked for Emerald and Ruby, the two clit stimulators, and they happily obliged. I was particularly excited about Ruby. You all know me– I love my weirdos, and that tweezer-like look had me hyped. …

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Review: Strange Bedfellas Yuri

Yuri in all its blue glory, sitting on its purple glitter pouch. Alright, look, we all know the world is on fire, and I’m not going to sit here and vent about shit we all know already. Everything is awful and I want to curl up into a ball and scream forever. But I’m not going to do that. I …

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My Eyes Are Bigger Than My Vagina

How To Fuck Up A Good Thing, by Ryn: A year ago, my blog was gaining traffic. I was getting more likes and clicks than ever. I had friends in the blogging community. Companies were finally taking me seriously. I had a backlog of things to review! It was exciting! And then the wave of responsibility crashed down over my …

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Review: Funkit Toys NoFrillDo: R, G, B

(Update 5/31/2020: The NoFrillDos have been redesigned! The new designs address a few of my complaints: the tip of the G is less ‘pokey’ and the bases are now teardrop-shaped! Pick them up here!) I picked up the NoFrillDo R, G, and B at Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit last summer as an incredibly nervous, brand-new, first-conference blogger. I was the …

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Review: Blush Noje G Slim

What the fuck, is that its starting intensity?? -Me, turning the Noje G Slim on for the first time. It’s deceptively small, unassuming, a pale sage green. When you hold down its tiny + button, however, it roars to life at a truly impressive volume. This is not ‘whisper quiet’. This little egg on a stick means BUSINESS and it …

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Review: Vibease

Oh god, it’s so pink. This does not capture how bright it is. I rate bright pink on the list of sex toy colors just slightly above ‘depressing eggplant purple’, which in my opinion is the worst, and below pale rosy pink because at least that flavor of IT’S FOR WIMMEN doesn’t injure my eyes. The Vibease is #FF00FF magenta. …

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Review: Uberrime Spiro

Spiro and Amo stealing a smooch! After I reviewed the Amo, Marco of Uberrime offered me a choice of reviewing the Spiro or Vivo, the two other dildos in the series (‘laugh’ and ‘live’, respectively, where the Amo obviously represents ‘love’). After I finished falling off my desk chair in shock (me?? are you sure??), I asked for and received …

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