Review: Strange Bedfellas Yuri

Yuri in all its blue glory, sitting on its purple glitter pouch. Alright, look, we all know the world is on fire, and I’m not going to sit here and vent about shit we all know already. Everything is awful and I want to curl up into a ball and scream forever. But I’m not going to do that. I …

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My Eyes Are Bigger Than My Vagina

How To Fuck Up A Good Thing, by Ryn: A year ago, my blog was gaining traffic. I was getting more likes and clicks than ever. I had friends in the blogging community. Companies were finally taking me seriously. I had a backlog of things to review! It was exciting! And then the wave of responsibility crashed down over my …

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Review: Funkit Toys NoFrillDo: R, G, B

(Update 5/31/2020: The NoFrillDos have been redesigned! The new designs address a few of my complaints: the tip of the G is less ‘pokey’ and the bases are now teardrop-shaped! Pick them up here!) I picked up the NoFrillDo R, G, and B at Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit last summer as an incredibly nervous, brand-new, first-conference blogger. I was the …

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Review: Blush Noje G Slim

What the fuck, is that its starting intensity?? -Me, turning the Noje G Slim on for the first time. It’s deceptively small, unassuming, a pale sage green. When you hold down its tiny + button, however, it roars to life at a truly impressive volume. This is not ‘whisper quiet’. This little egg on a stick means BUSINESS and it …

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Review: Vibease

Oh god, it’s so pink. This does not capture how bright it is. I rate bright pink on the list of sex toy colors just slightly above ‘depressing eggplant purple’, which in my opinion is the worst, and below pale rosy pink because at least that flavor of IT’S FOR WIMMEN doesn’t injure my eyes. The Vibease is #FF00FF magenta. …

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Review: Uberrime Spiro

Spiro and Amo stealing a smooch! After I reviewed the Amo, Marco of Uberrime offered me a choice of reviewing the Spiro or Vivo, the two other dildos in the series (‘laugh’ and ‘live’, respectively, where the Amo obviously represents ‘love’). After I finished falling off my desk chair in shock (me?? are you sure??), I asked for and received …

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Review: Touch by Swan Solo

I felt like a real life sex blogger when I saw the email from Betty’s Toy Box saying they were sending me the Solo. I couldn’t tell if I wanted to love it or hate it, so I compromised by spending a few days obsessively checking the mail and hovering in a perpetual state of anxious anticipation. When the package …

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Review: Uberrime Amo

I’m spoiled. This dildo has spoiled me. It’s blown almost everything else out of the water. The Uberrime Amo is what I always finish with these days. I can’t sing its praises anywhere near enough. I won the Amo in a giveaway, and I spent a while just admiring it when I opened it (yes, I know I always say …

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Review: Alraune (EX)

My Alraune, standing proudly. I bought the HodgePodgeEntourage Alraune on a whim. I saw it showcased on the creator’s Twitter and immediately had to know how it felt. It’s one of the better decisions I’ve made.

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Finding My Place

I see stories all around me of sex bloggers who got their start with an electric toothbrush, the water in the bathtub faucet, a Sharpie over their underwear, when they were teenagers, and I feel like a sore thumb, sticking out from sheer inexperience and naivete. I didn’t even have a sex drive until I was nineteen. As a teen, …

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