Funkit Toys is a gift to humanity. Kenton, the genius behind it, is the kind of person who makes dildo pun threads on Twitter , entire $690 silicone dildo chess sets, and candy corn butt plugs for Halloween. (Yes, I own one, obviously.) He makes beautiful, artistic body-safe dildo designs that put functionality first and foremost, and if you can’t …
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Review: Strange Bedfellas Joh
Alright, listen up, because I have some complicated feelings about the Strange Bedfellas Joh. Nuance? In my reviews? It’s more likely than you think. I’ve never had to use my love AND hate tags on one post before. This is the side I think is prettier. Sadly, it’s the underside. The Appearance: My Joh is a small size in soft …
Read More »Review: Uberrime Dr. Manhattan
My horde of Uberrimes. From left to right: Sensi, Spiro, Amo, Dr. Manhattan, Supero. I love Uberrime wholeheartedly. Marco, its owner and resident dildo smith, is a wonderful human and talented with silicone. I have multiple dildos from Uberrime that I use regularly. To my sorrow, the Dr. Manhattan is the first one that will not be added to my …
Read More »Review: Strange Bedfellas Yuri
Yuri in all its blue glory, sitting on its purple glitter pouch. Alright, look, we all know the world is on fire, and I’m not going to sit here and vent about shit we all know already. Everything is awful and I want to curl up into a ball and scream forever. But I’m not going to do that. I …
Read More »Review: Funkit Toys NoFrillDo: R, G, B
(Update 5/31/2020: The NoFrillDos have been redesigned! The new designs address a few of my complaints: the tip of the G is less ‘pokey’ and the bases are now teardrop-shaped! Pick them up here!) I picked up the NoFrillDo R, G, and B at Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit last summer as an incredibly nervous, brand-new, first-conference blogger. I was the …
Read More »Review: Uberrime Spiro
Spiro and Amo stealing a smooch! After I reviewed the Amo, Marco of Uberrime offered me a choice of reviewing the Spiro or Vivo, the two other dildos in the series (‘laugh’ and ‘live’, respectively, where the Amo obviously represents ‘love’). After I finished falling off my desk chair in shock (me?? are you sure??), I asked for and received …
Read More »Review: Uberrime Amo
I’m spoiled. This dildo has spoiled me. It’s blown almost everything else out of the water. The Uberrime Amo is what I always finish with these days. I can’t sing its praises anywhere near enough. I won the Amo in a giveaway, and I spent a while just admiring it when I opened it (yes, I know I always say …
Read More »Review: Alraune (EX)
My Alraune, standing proudly. I bought the HodgePodgeEntourage Alraune on a whim. I saw it showcased on the creator’s Twitter and immediately had to know how it felt. It’s one of the better decisions I’ve made.
Read More »Review: Tantus Goddess
The Tantus Goddess was my third-ever dildo. After my disappointing experience with the Fun Factory Amor, I bought the Cush O2 on sale, only to discover that my eyes were MUCH bigger than my vagina. Even the squishy dual-density silicone led to pain at attempted insertion (though I have inserted it ONCE, and it felt great). Frustrated with myself, I …
Read More »Review: Fun Factory Amor
My first ever review, featuring my first dildo! It felt appropriate. The Fun Factory Amor is black, stubby, and comes with a suction cup, in case you’ve ever wanted to use a dildo as a coat hook on your wall (I have absolutely done this). It bends and squishes when you squeeze it. It’s a beautiful, attractive black (it also comes …
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