Review: Zalo x Upko Silicone Rose Ball Gag (Designer Doll Collection)

I’ve been lusting after the Rose Ball Gag since I first saw it. Somehow, it’s never occurred to me that ball gags can be pretty. I generally appreciate how they make folks look, but that’s because people are hot, not because the gags are especially aesthetically pleasing. Now Zalo’s taken the concept and created something elegant and gorgeous, something you could wear to a fancy ball. …A very specific sort of fancy ball, anyway.

The gag’s ball is a little under 1.6 inches in diameter. For comparison, this shitty one I got from a shitty website was 1.85″, and that made my jaw ache after a few minutes. Also, the crappy plastic-y fake leather it was made out of felt like it was stabbing the corners of my mouth. Suffice it to say, I did not have high expectations heading into testing. Basically I just wanted it not to hurt me.

That’s how I re-learned the most important lesson of sex blogging: Materials MATTER. Quality matters. There’s plenty of junky kink gear out there, but just like with junk dildos, they’ll hurt to use and they may not be safe. The difference between my shitty starter gag and the Rose Ball Gag from Zalo is huge. It’s like upgrading from your first slimline vibe straight to the Eroscillator.

The Rose Ball Gag is obscenely comfortable. The silicone extends out from the gag into two straps that connect to the leather, so the edges of the gag are rounded, comfy, tasteless silicone. No stabby here. The ball itself stops me from speaking effectively, but also sits comfortably in my mouth, and the rose pops easily in and out of the center hole. The strap feels a little loose no matter how I tighten it, but despite strenuous effort, I couldn’t get it out of my mouth without undoing the buckle. (Lesson learned: decide on the strap-on before letting anyone put a gag in your mouth.) I have a pretty giant noggin, so I suspect it’ll fit most heads well. Also, magically, those gold bits come out of the leather to separate the gag itself from the strap. This means you can wash, boil, and bleach the silicone part safely, without risking the leather. Just be careful not to lose the gold fasteners. Zalo includes a beautiful red velvet bag for all parts of the gag, which is a great change from the usual cheap satin.

Form does not come before function, here. Zalo has created a work of art that works perfectly at its intended job of shutting up the wearer and makes them look stupidly hot. Frankly, at under $70, it’s a steal. It’s beautiful and luxurious at a great price, and it’s most likely the only ball gag you’ll ever need. It appeals to my sense of aesthetics and my kinks all at once! What more could I ask for? (I wanna try the handcuffs too now…)

With many thanks to Nicole for sending me this gag and being patient about my review time! Getting it for free didn’t influence my opinion– I really do love this product. In fact, the only way to get me to shut up about it is to use it on me.

Pick up the Rose Ball Gag for $64 at SheVibe or $69 at Spectrum Boutique!

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