Last February, Vibease reached out to me to ask if I wanted to review their “Jewel Collection,” a trio of non-app-controlled vibrators they’d just released. I asked for Emerald and Ruby, the two clit stimulators, and they happily obliged. I was particularly excited about Ruby. You all know me– I love my weirdos, and that tweezer-like look had me hyped.
The boxes arrived at my door! I tried the toys once or twice, took notes, and then the entire world immediately turned into some sort of horrible, twisted toroid. In the chaos of shifting to online classes, scrambling to move back home and clean out my apartment, and watching the death toll rise, reviewing fell by the wayside in favor of, well, depression. Months later, out of determination to get back to normal and fulfill my obligations, I dug Ruby and Emerald out of my toybox and stuck them on my nightstand. Being me, I got distracted immediately by Fun Factory’s newest gizmo, the Sundaze, and had to go check that out. This happens more often than I want to admit. Browsing through the webpage, the Ruby lying next to me, I came to a realization.
There on the site, clear as anything, was the Fun Factory Volita, a cheap, battery-powered, and by all accounts completely worthless version of their oddly duck-billed Volta. Heart sinking, I held up the Ruby to my screen, and sure enough, their designs were identical. Sure, the Ruby has a pretty, crystal-textured handle and the Volita just has a white base, but the important part of the design– those tweezer flaps– was identical.
I didn’t want to be in the position of reviewing stolen designs. I looked at my Emerald. Okay, yes, I had noticed the resemblance to Jimmyjane’s Form 2. Once is coincidence…so off I went to the Vibease webpage. I looked up product photos of the Onyx and compared it to every vibrating cock ring on SheVibe. It turns out, cock rings are surprisingly varied! Every one has a different shape: pointy, rounded, detached rabbit ears, anal beads, etc. Not one looked similar to another. On the very last page, I found the LELO Tor 2 and died a bit inside. The trapezoidal shape was unmistakable.
Evidence in hand, I emailed my contact at Vibease. I tried DM’ing their Twitter. I contacted their customer support line (and subsequently learned my contact had left the company). The customer support email invited me to send questions that they would pass on, but I never got a response. Not that I really expected one. It’s hard to respond to ‘hey, did you collaborate with these three companies you don’t acknowledge anywhere to make this line?’ Bizarrely, the LELO Tor 2 is listed for sale on their site (at a suspiciously low price), though it’s the only LELO toy there. At this point, for lack of refutal, I’m proceeding on the assumption that the designs are, in fact, stolen. I still feel an obligation to review them on their own merits, though, so read on if you just want to know what the toys are like.
The motor in the Vibease was acceptable. I enjoyed it— it had power behind it and stayed connected to the app well. In contrast, the Ruby’s motor makes me want to defenestrate it. The vibration is strongest on the ‘head’ of the toy in between its two fins. And it’s horribly buzzy, so almost nothing transfers to the fins, which are THE ONLY REASON to buy a toy like this. I tried everything. I spread my labia, exposing my very buried clit, so I could give the Ruby a chance to hit it directly. I put it on either side of my clit like tweezers. I tried pressing just one tip to my clit. Nothing. It feels like a mosquito. On my clitoris. At best. There’s a bit more power if you ignore the fins and press the shaft into your clit, but…first of all, what’s the point, and second of all, the motor still sucks. And don’t even get me started on how the ONE BUTTON CONTROL is hidden in the textured handle, like they want it to be as inconvenient as possible.
The Emerald’s motor, to my intense relief, is stronger. Also, it has a light on the base that corresponds to the function it’s on. I love this, but why isn’t it a feature on the Ruby too?? Unfortunately, I realized pretty quickly that the Emerald has the exact same problem as the Jimmyjane Form 2. Namely, the second silicone meets skin, the motor loses its shit. It stutters, complains, and generally stops being at all useful. I start feeling like I’m trapped in a Disney ride, listening to the canned technical difficulties message. I do NOT want to babysit my vibrator while I get off. I deserve to not have to work for my orgasms, dammit, and so do all of my readers. Do not buy it. Your orgasms will suffer.
The bottom line is: Vibease’s Jewel Collection designs are unoriginal, and their take on them sucks. The only improvements I can find are:
a) The Ruby’s handle is a good shape,
and b) The Emerald’s base glows to indicate what vibration level/pattern it’s on.
Don’t buy the damned things. You can do better.
The Vibease Jewel Collection is available through Vibease’s website.
Honestly, though, you’re better off throwing a dart at my affiliates’ product pages and choosing based on that.
Want to support me in my quest for the truth of vibrators’ origins? I have a Patreon!
Cool graphics courtesy of @Seeccubus. Thank you! <3